Comments on: Dangit Monique!!

By: Ayana

Ayana — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 03:04:17 +0000

I’m 110 lbs and, honestly, I’d give anything to be thick and attractive. I’ve tried force feeding myself, Ensure, working out, even weight gain pills, and nothing worked. It’s quite frustrating, too. I know I’m supposed to appreciate myself for how I’m made, but it’s kinda hard when u got men around you chanting “the bigger the better”. Any suggestions?

By: Tracy

Tracy — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 03:59:10 +0000

@ Brandy!

Thanks so much for your input – I like it so much that I am preparing a separate blog entry to further this discussion! Coming Soon! And thanks for stopping by!

By: Tracy

Tracy — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 03:57:20 +0000

@ Miriam!

Hey Girl! Thank you so much sweetie!! Maybe if I can get this weight loss show on the road, I can counsel Ms Nique! lol!!

And lately, I have been feeling like David, conquering my Goliath – one pound at a time!

@ Mr. Casper – just let me know, I’m ready to try out my UFF moves on him!! LOL!!

By: Casper

Casper — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 15:51:08 +0000

Yea I am having my brother in Peoria ship me my old computer from stateside. Maybe you can jog on over there and put a boot in his arse. LOL J/K

By: miriam

miriam — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 09:10:39 +0000

Hi Tracy!

Wishing you all the best w/ the weight loss. Yeah, I agree w/ Roslyn on the Monique issue.

Jogging, joggers makes me think of Joshua and his troops going around Jericho.There’s some self empowerment there!

By: Brandy

Brandy — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 20:01:13 +0000

Your associations with “skinny” and “fat” are reflective of the current ideals of society. Skinny is equated with beauty, control, stamina, righteousness, positivity, assertive, wealth etc., and fat is equated with undesirability, greediness, lack of energy, settling, negativity, poor, etc. However, this was not the mindset of this society in the past…it was the opposite and has only changed within the last few decades.
However, when it comes to Mo’Nique and her (or any woman’s) disapproval of becoming a “skinny bitch” may come from a past of how she’s been treated or seen others treated by this type of woman. Also, it is not in every woman’s physical make-up to be a skinny (or very thin) woman. No matter the time and effort put into diet and exercise, even to unhealthy extremes, some women will not fit into the skinny category. Should they be bashed and ridiculed as listless failures? As women without the ability to fulfill their God-given purpose? There are Black women who have attempted to sustain a lifestyle to retain their membership among the thin elite, to the detriment of their mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health. However, they see women, who aren’t as thin, but just as active and determined to retain a svelte figure enjoying life, work, family, friends and relationship with God I wonder if they also curse the need to be a “skinny bitch.”
Although you may maintain your lifestyle to attain materialistic and somewhat shallow rewards, not all women are motivated by these things. Health may not be the foundational factor in their weight-loss either. We may be able to postulate a continuum of reasons to maintain a figure of fitness instead of fatness, but whatever the reason(s) may be it is not the place of others to determine one’s defining reasoning. The fact that you use your body to gain attention, as an estimation of success, or as your major tool of attraction for a potential mate is not the desire of every Black woman battling her body and the psychosocial factors impacting weight-loss. But to each her own
I do agree Black women’s struggle with physical fitness is a major concern not only for the individual but includes her family and greater community. However, optimal fitness is more than fat or skinny, disease or health; it is the ability of one to find and maintain balance both inside and out…

By: Fitness Goddess

Fitness Goddess — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 00:39:55 +0000

Tracy,
Great Post! I love the honesty (what motivated you to lose weight). I agree with you too if Monique is doing it for her health…she has a ways to go.

By: Tracy

Tracy — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:58:35 +0000

And last but not least! Mr Casper! One of my cheerleaders and a guy that knows a thing or two about whooping ass!!

Unfortuneately, that is why I had to let Mr. Manfriend go…..yes Ms. Tracy is single again! He let the freaky out of the bag much too soon!! Will post about that too!

So you are doing double duty at the fight training eh? Well good for you but get some rest and get that computer fixed pronto!

Thank you for your sweet words, and thanks to all of you for your support! WE Can Do It!!

By: Tracy

Tracy — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:54:52 +0000

Answers part II! Sorry had to go potty!!

@ Rosyln! Hey girl, how come you haven’t answered my Facebook Friend request! Hmph, some folks….lol!

You said:

I would imagine that from Monique’s perspective it’s about money and her career. After all, a good part of her schtick is the way she lambasts the ’skinny bitches,’ and being fat positive. If she were to lose a significant amount of weight now, she might well be kissing her career goodbye. For black female celebrities weight is a double-edged sword. If you’re a black woman and overweight in Hollywood, you stand a better chance of having a successful career than an overweight white woman. That’s pretty much the only category where a black woman stands a better chance than a white woman.

That is so very true, although I don’t call “Soul Plane” and the last three movies that Queen was in “successful”; more like “work and a paycheck”, but I digress. The Hollywood system for bw is awful, but that is what is selling at the moment. But Ms. Monique, like Queen, has a little more pull , she can write her own check in some cases. The fat is not making her more funny or lovable or more acceptable – that is just OBG (old black girl) thinking. To sacrifice oneself, to live a half life for someone else is dehumanizing, no matter how much money is being thrown at you.

I personally would love to see her in a romantic comedy where she sheds some weight and has the time of her life experiencing what’s in those hidden doors that were closed to her. I just wish the BC could get over Tyler Perry and his mess and want to see that too.

And you are so on point with the abuse issue. I am a former victim of sexual and mental abuse, and spent most of my adult years under my blanket of protection while filling the void of love and contact with food. I know first hand what that hell is. To your solutions, I say YES!! First let’s educate the parents on the fragility of a young girls soul and how to spot and stop any abuse that may be happening. Then on to the BC – not so much teaching, cuz honestly they dont care, but let the predators know that this will no longer be tolerated. And stand by it – these are our girls, if we don’t care no one will! I will do another post on this topic soon !

But ….as for the 30-40 pluses, like me, we are going to have to come to a point in our lives where we say “enough, I’m tired, I want a change from this!!” Will tell you my story in the next post of how I and a few others finally did it!

Thank you for your words of wisdom!!

By: Tracy

Tracy — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 23:31:23 +0000

Hello everyone!

Thanks for weighing in (pun intended) on a difficult subject for myself and bw in general.

@ SOBT – Amen to that! Finding a healthy, maintable medium is what it is all about. But I still say that the sliding scale that bw want to stop at is still a little too high; we need to set more realistic and healthy goals for ourselves without feeling like we are beating ourselves up or denying our culture. Thanks for dropping in!!

@ Tabitha – Go on girl witcha bad self!! lol! Thanks for visiting and please , if you can, drop us a line or two about your experiences with this weight game!

@ Shelley: Hiya Shelly! After I posted, I realized that I should have given more background as to what my idea of skinny was. Skinny to the extreme is never healthy and I would never advocate the ana’s and the ed’s . But….an eating and body image disorder is the same on both sides of the spectrum, just as super skinny is unhealthy, so is carrying more than 50 to 100 pounds of extra weight on the body. And it just concerns me that Monique, like I and countless others that I have known, will stop at say 200 and say “good enough”! Well , for her height and body frame, 200 is nowhere near good enough, and (again, I say this from experience, I am a professional dieter!) keeps the door open to gain it all back plus some. Good enough is literally killing us.

I understand that in the end, it is a personal choice that everyone has to make for themselves, I just wish that in BW’s case, we could choose to set the bar a bit, no a lot, lower. Right now, my goal is to be at the tippy top of the BMI index for “Normal, healthy” weight. That is about 153. I may try for 145 – not skinny, but not kissing the “underweight” line either. At my current weight and size, I realize that turning back would be foolish. I am literally half the size that I was, my body can fit into one of my old pant legs. And this happened almost while I wasn’t looking! I just kept setting my goals for the week/month and did everything I could to reach or come close to them.. If I can do it, anyone can!

Sorry, I’m rambling! Thank you for commenting, please come visit more!