Hey All!
Just some random thoughts for ya tonite….
New goal – at 182, I will have lost 75 pounds!! This goal might take a little longer to reach, cuz all of a sudden:
1. My body is just now realizing that I have dumped a major amount of weight in the past 7 months and is now playing hard to get ( or hard to get lost..). And..
2. Since I now walk/run about 8 miles a day and try to squeeze in some weight training time, I am HONGRY!! All of the time! If I don’t do some kind of exercise, it is worse. Yesterday, my relax and cheat day (yes I can now have one cheat day a week – I use my weekly extra points!), I ate two sections of those cheap shortbread covered -with -some -kind -of -plastic- chocolate -flavored coating cookies. You know the ones where you get about 100 cookies for a dollar! They were never so good! AAaand at about 10:30 p.m., I found myself spinning (in my Ronco Showtime Rotissere) two pork chops! As long as they were devoured by Midnight it was ok! Madness! So, I know that my overeating issues are far from over, but I can better control them. Those cookies tho….mmm mmm!
So, anyhoo, new goal is 182, Whatcha Gonna Do? I’m gonna dance the Stanky Leg! Will make sure that gets filmed, and by that time I should have my video converter softwear installed. Then I can finally stop all this damn typing!
OK next…the job front here is pathetic, but I am still plugging along and trying to pick up side work. One of my little jobs is being a Fitness Consultant. For a small fee, I will help you start your eating plan, and everyday I will take you on a 4 mile powerwalk. I have two customers so far. One customer is a dream, she will do whatever it takes to lose weight and get healthy and since she has seen me at my biggest, takes my word as Gospel. Her first weigh in was last Monday – She lost 2 pounds!! I can see success in her future…..Way to go girl!! YCDI!!
My other customer…..hmmm….my other customer is half Indian. She is a descendant of the Ohahcaint tribe. Everytime you tell her something….
“You need to drink at least six glasses of water a day” “Oh I caint do that, I’m allergic to water”.
“To get a good workout with your walk, you need to move your arms” ” Oh I caint , I’m double jointed and will throw something out”.
“You need to get some measuring cups and spoons and a food scale to monitor your portions” “Oh I caint eat smaller portions, I’m anemic and need to eat more”.
She “caint” do anything I tell her, but she can put on makeup that would make a clown say “Damn!”, an outfit with matching hair and nail color, and of course a head band. That has yet to trap any sweat cuz when I call her and it is a little warm “Oh, I caint walk today, heatstroke”. Or if it is too cold “will catch pneumonia”. Don’t let it rain…
This heffa had the nerve to get mad at me cuz Monday, she didn’t lose any weight….and wanted her money back…which leads me to this conclusion: If I am going to make any money at this, I’m going to have to leave Negroes alone for awhile. I’m meeting too many clients like the latter ( “Walk EVERYDAY?!?”) and not enough like the former (“When can we start weight training!”) I would love to reach out and help my sista’s go that extra mile and reach their physical goals, but it seems like, around here anyway, that we still don’t take this seriously enough. Coupled with the fact that we think everything should be for free (“Can my two cousins walk with us today? and can I make copies of the eating plan for them?”) things are just not looking too good on this venture. Ah, well, I will stick with Ms. Go Getter tho – she’s got a hunger for it, I see me in her eyes.
All right, home stretch…the hair thing. Natural, weave, wig, whatever….If you sweat, you are gonna have to wash your hair! You know when you wake up in the morning and that crusty stuff is in your eyes and around your mouth? That is what sweat does – it crystallizes in your hair. If you let it sit there or God forbid brush it thru your hair and scalp, the salt will eventually harden and snap your very delicate hair right off. So if you can’t wash , at least rinse it out. And if you swim, which is next for me, sorry, you gotta wash. Find a gentle shampoo and conditioner and get that chlorine out, cap or no.
I can hear the screaming already! I’m immune, I have heard all of the excuses – now here are your choices. You can:
1. Wash your hair, learn to blow dry and barrel curl your hair on a moderate (not not) setting. Have your stylist give you a more do-able style that is easier to maintain.
2. Go natural and wash – n – go! Or for more variety, get braids.
3. For weaves, make sure that you are drying the underside (the anchor braids) completely – trapped water will give your hair a mildewy smell..
One thing a fitness minded chick that sweats cannot have – the multi do head! Twists on one side, finger waves on the other, boop – de – boop curls in the back, all finished off with a coat or two of shellac. Ladies, if you are over the age of , oh say, TWELVE, this do shouldn’t even be an option. Like your new fitness routine, keep it simple.
Well, that’s about it…getting a little knackered. Hello to all the Diva’s and if you didn’t agree with all that I had to say in this post, well write your own telling me how stoopit I am….
Seriously, we wanna hear from you!! You all are from the Ahcando tribe – and you can do it!!
Til next time…..get to typing girls!!
I’m Back!
