Hello All!!

Has it really been two months?!?  Yep it has, and Ms. Tracy has missed you all so much!  I have been between a rock and a hard place with this whole weight loss thing and whether or not to continue….

When we last got together, I was in the middle of an almost debilitating setback.   Over the holidays (from November to February!!) I went on an out of control eating binge that undid months of hard work.  I gained back 45 of the 94 pounds that I had lost since September of 08.  A sugar and carb overload triggered a complete shutdown of my neurotransmitters and a very deep depression had set in.  Add to this about 50 feet of snow, below freezing temps, and a bad case of SAD.  Ms. Tracy could not get any lower.   I entertained thoughts of getting a treadmill or some gym equipment to make up for not being able to go outside, but by that time I had gone back into my self-made prison and closed and locked the door.

I must not have hit a total bottom, because I still weighed in and tried to at least get to a Weight Watchers meeting.  But the more the scale went up, the tighter my clothes stared getting, and the worse I started to feel (hellooo female problems) the more I retreated back into my little cell.  Truthfully, I don’t think that I can blame depression totally – I was ashamed that I had fallen AGAIN.  Even tho I was still ahead of the game ( I was still more than forty pounds less than I was when I started)  the person that I had carefully cultivated with diet and exercise was gone.  And the person that I hated (yes – hated!) was back.  Bloated face, bleary eyes, chunky middle……all came back with a vengeance.

I was going to do what I did the last time I fell from grace….give up and disappear.  From the looks of things in the blogosphere, everyone does it.  Just quietly go, don’t answer the emails from Ms. Johnson or Katrina , my leader atWW,  and have another chocolate sundae beer float.  Accept the “fact” that this is what I am supposed to be, how I am supposed to feel, and how am supposed to live.   Give.  Up.

My 44th birthday was in February, and I celebrated like I usually do – all out blast with the girls, Chippendale dancer (Actually, it was more like a Chip in Hell dancer – how you gonna be try to be sexxy with a belly roll and back fat?  AND a thong…ewww).  The next day, I went shopping for my “gift to myself” and remembered that I still had the $300 Macy gift card that WW had sent me last year.   I won that prize for being an “Inspiration” – didn’t quite feel like one, tho.  I didn’t want to buy any clothes in a bigger size – too depressing.  Already had a shoe and boot collection that would put Imelda Marcos to shame, and this years styles looked like something a hooker would wear (open toed BOOTS?!  No, Kimora, just no….)….and it would be the nail in the coffin of defeat if I spent it all in the Godiva chocolate section…

So, I decided to get a nice piece of jewelry, something to keep and to remind me of what my hard work got me.   I was going to go with a pair of earrings, but I decided on a really cute heart shaped Amethyst and diamond ring.  I usually have to send my jewelry away to get sized, or do the pinky ring thing, but surprisingly, this ring fit snugly and securely on my ring finger.  Hmm, well I wasn’t where I wanted to be , weight wise, but I wasn’t where I started either.   I decided to make this ring my promise ring to myself.  I promised myself that no matter what setback, no matter what excuse I could dream up for not being where I should be – I would not give up.  I am not a quitter, I will not go back to LaneBryant and buy new clothes when I have a closet full of 10-12′s ( and one 8, boo hoo!!) to get into, I will not abandon my goals, I will not let the weather stop me from my new passion, running!  I WILL NOT GIVE UP!!

So, for the last two months, I have weathered the snow (walking poles !!),  the rain, and the nice weather (finally!!) and started pounding the pavement again.  I have also returned to Weight Watchers.  This combo – nothing like it in the world. The heart pounding , the sore knees, the flushing of your skin – yep that first WW meeting weigh in was a bitch!  The running was a lot easier….

So far, since I have be back on track, I have lost 20 pounds .  But I can do that in my sleep.  In fact, I am back in my element of losing weight, the easy part, the fun and exciting part.

I have also been doing lots of research as to the whats and why’s of falling off of the wagon, fat acceptance, doctors, aging and lots of other cool stuff.   I will be sharing all of this with you in the coming weeks along with my progress. 

Lovely to be back y’all – We Can Do It!

Hey All!!

I have been very, very tired lately and it is my own fault.  I guess I could say that I got wrapped up in the holidays, and bummed out by all of the cold freezing weather and snow.  I also could say that having company for two weeks  put a dent in my eating/workout schedule.  I could blame SAD, the lack of vitamin D, President Obama (really, isn’t everything his fault nowadays? *eyeroll*)……..

But, truthfully, I can’t…the month of January was a total eating and exercise plan fail!  Nah, I don’t like to say “fail”  – too negative – tho the extra 5 pounds that are sending me back over the 200 lb mark don’t seem like a “win” to me.

We all know the drill, I was just surprised that I could get back into the old habits so easily after the kick ass summer that I had.  But, ladies and gents, I am paying dearly for my indulgences.  No energy, tired red eyes and overactive bladder (too much sugar) weight gain  and a penchant for just either laying around or surfing the web mean one big thing – Blood sugar is out of control again.

So I must take charge again and get back on track.  The only upside to all of this is that instead of wallowing and continuing my downward spiral, I am really hating how I look and feel.  No wig , makeup or clothes can mask an unhealthy body.  And the sluggishness – I used to be so sharp!  So, it’ll take a couple of weeks of hot fudge/vanilla icecream waffle sundae detox ( do I know how to cheat or what?!?) to get me back to my old/new self again, but I have to do it !  And I can do it!!

Today I re-measure myself and use that as a starting point….If you all don’t mind, I won’t post numbers again till I am feeling better, and I am sure that what I will be seeing won’t make me all puppies, kittens and rainbows.

Now that the weather is decent, I am also back outside running, and I am pricing treadmills this week.  No excuses!!

I don’t know what my lack of training for the month of January is going to do for my half marathon that is scheduled in March. This mornings run was pitiful…..I could feel the fat on my legs laffing and holding on ! “Ha ha, you aint gettin rid of us that easy!!”

On another upside, I saw a friend in the grocery store today (back to the veggie aisle!) that saw me at my peak in August!  She told me that since seeing me and what I accomplished, she went on her own weight loss program and lost 50 pounds!!  She couldn’t stand being the “fat one” next to me!!  LOL – well honey , if it made you make a positive change in your life , hate away!!

It will be a slow process trying to get the bod used to healthy foods and water again, but I will try to post more that once a month!

So how bout you ladies, gents and facebook friends?  How have you been holding up during the Great Arctic Blast of 10?  Let’s hear from you!!

As always, you can do it!!

Til next time…..ooh look, carrots for dinner….yum…..

Happy Holidays!!

Hello All!!

How are all of you!!?!?  I hope that you had a great, lessee, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Kwaanza, Ramadan, Hanukah, Hari Krisha, Winter Solstice, Hail Satan…..did I get them all!?

Well, this is Week 8 of our Second Chance/Do Over Challenge…..how did you guys do?  Yuh huh, oh, I see…mmmhmmm…..yeah mee too!   Christmas cookies and the fried turkey kicked my ass too and I’m about to ring in the New Year with every chicken wing imaginable plus some eggnog and bubbly…..

I did manage to keep running, so the damage is not as bad as I thought that it would be but…..I am up about twenty pounds…..the pic above is me running on Christmas day as Santa.  Got lots of folks honking their horns and smiling and waving……and I also got a few middle  fingers from some Scrooges!

Not to fret, not to worry..It ‘s never too late to start over.  Even tho I have gained, I am still way ahead of where I was last year at this time.  So, ladies and gents, January 4, 2010 will be ….yes say it together now….8 WEEKS TO A BETTER BODY CHALLENGE – WE MEAN IT THIS TIME!!!  The hams, chitlins, cookies, fudge and food gifts need to be eaten – no thrown away – no eaten, who we trying to fool – by Jan 3rd.

This new 8 weeks is important to me because that is the countdown to my birthday in February.  I have managed to eat my way back into a 14, so I would like to get back down to a size 10 by February 21st.  I CAN DO IT!!

More later, I gotta finish getting ready for tonite!!  You all have a great New Year, be safe, take your DD if you are planning to paaartay, and get ready to sweat come ’10!!

Do it again in 10!!

YCDI

So I here I go again. Trying to lose the same 20/30 pounds that I can never quite get rid of…once I’m home anyway.

Sigh.

Okay so here we go.

Goal

To be 150lbs at the end of the 8 Weeks ta Better body Challenge Round 2

Plan

Exercise: Twice a day with 20 – 40 minutes worth of cardio in the morning combined with 30 – 60 minutes of weight training and abs. Add to that 60 – 90 minutes worth of cardio in the evenings.

Diet: 10 glasses of water a day and 25 – 30 grams of fiber a day. I’ve found I work best when I work on what to add to my diet and not what to take out.

Miscellaneous

Stress: Stress is a big factor with me. I’ve been in a perpetual spiral of nothing going right so I’m genuinely pretty stressed on a daily basis. I’ve learned that if I’m too stressed the weight just won’t come off, no mater how hard I try or how great I’m dieting.  So the key for me is to find a way to manage my stress so it doesn’t affect my weight loss.

Depression: I’m prone to depression. Fighting the blues is a daily battle with me. And if things are really bad I just don’t want to move. So, the key is to walk/run everyday regardless of mood.

Work/Life Balance: I’m a obsessed with my work. I’ll work ’round the clock and won’t take the time to stop and go work out. Since I’m a write it means I’m not moving much, so I definitely have to make myself back up from the computer and get to exercising AND remember to eat.

Food Diary: Like ms. Tracy said “If I bite it write it.” That’s the only way I’m going to really know what I’m eating and be able to make the necessary adjustments.

So that’s it. My weight loss plan and goal. I’m starting this challenge at 168.9lbs (don’t ask – it’s been a stressful couple of weeks) so I need to lose roughly 19lbs in 8 weeks to meet my goal. It’s definitely doable, but I will admit my will power is lacking so I’ve got an uphill battle to climb.

Let’s get it started.

Today is a new day. So what are you waiting for?

New Look for Fall!

Hello Everybody!!

It’s been much too long since I have posted last, and for that I am truly sorry!  I missed you all, but Ms.  Tracy has been quite busy!

Since my last post I have:  run a 5K, 10K and am training for a half marathon.  Then a full marathon but that is not until Spring so I have some time.  I have purchased two more pairs of running shoes, a really expensive UnderArmor cold weather running suit, a couple more wigs, finally got some man-action from the dating site that is employed, has all his teeth, not married and not a jerk, and managed to get and get over the flu.

In the course of all this, I also managed to gain, then lose, then gain again – 10 pounds!  Hopefully some of this is muscle, tho truthfully I know that some of it is Halloween candy and peanut butter (sigh) banana graham crackers. Oh and KFC.  And not following my Weight Watchers program like I should cuz dammit I run almost 12 miles every friggin day PLUS strength train every other day and after ALL THAT if I can’t have an occasional (read: every day) four piece extra crispy wing dinner then life is just not worth living…….

Um..yeah..so…I’m gonna pretty much sh*tcan the month of October for the challenge and ask for a do-over starting fresh in November.  I got it all planned out.  I got a gift subscription sent to me from Henry (I guess he got tired of answering my questions) for Runner’s Magazine.  They also sent me a Runner’s Log Book.  I hate starting at the middle or end of anything, so November 1st is my date for the first entry!   Right now, the entries will look sorta like this:

7:00 am – 7 mi run – easy pace (1 hr 45 min)

9am-4pm – Work, eat, play, run errands, buy more running stuff, get some love, fight with someone, blog, facebook, watch food network and cry…

5pm - 6:30pm – Strength training or second 5 mi run

On the upside, I have lost some inches here and there :

Waist – 35 – down one inch

hips – 38 – down one inch

bust – 39 – down two inches

upper arm – 12 – down one inch

upper thigh – 20 – down one inch

calf – 15 – down one inch

So……something is working, I would just like to get my passion for doing things in an orderly fashion back.  Too much cheating here and there, I think that I am getting bored with the routine.  But you know what, cheating is getting boring too!  Granted, I still love food and can see myself very easily falling back into the spiral of overeating, but instead of filling a void with food, I am now just eating to get it over with, almost mechanical eating.   

So in a way, I am getting over food – I am even starting to dread the holidays!  The thought of wasting a perfect day off preparing all that food when I c0uld be running or visiting w/friends or anything but attending an all out eat fest annoys me.  You know, I could make it fun and have a “Chopped” challenge with my sis-in-law – 30 minutes to whip up a Holiday meal with dates, chicken thighs, soy sauce and oatmeal cookies!  Yess!!!!…….Nah, those wet blankets would never go for it…..

Anyhoo, I also gave myself a wig makeover.  I found that folks couldn’t see my cheekbones and chin with the longer wigs, so I got a lighter, shorter low mainenence look for fall!   Oh, I almost forgot the new “spacesuit”!  This literally stops traffic – I am either that hot or I need to get a sports bra…..

Great to be back – Next post, some new friends, Why Mr. Casper is in trouble, and why Food Network is straight up Porn for Dieters!

You Can Do it!!

Well after a much needed vacation (been three years already) I have had some thoughts. My wife finally convinced me to go “home” whatever that is. I was opting for taking a trip to Thailand or India or Dublin or Greece or Argentina or Cape Town or some other great place I have not yet seen… but the winning argument was that my folks have never seen the baby and hadn’t seen the oldest since she was a baby.

So while I was back home I could not believe how overweight people are. Consistently I was counting 8 out of 10 people were over weight, 2 of which were grossly obese. My wife didn’t even believe my decleration until I said check it out for yourself. then she really started to look and was like ” Wow your right ”

I understand that typically asian people tend to be ectomorphs but this isn’t always the case just look at sumo wrestlers and the people who frequent McDonalds (not kidding… if you want to see a fat Japanese person go to McD’s) The one difference I have to say though is that the diet we eat here in Japan is drastically different. Lots of veggies, lots of raw fish, a little beef, a little chicken, a little tofu and a small bowl of rice with every meal. The food here has not been mass produced by agribusinesses using NPK and GMO. While “Certified Organic” is not as big of a deal here, a lot of the food here is organic anyways, there just isn’t a great need to get certified.

Now for the hard truth. I kinda did crude experiment. I am a pretty lean person, after a fight Iwill take a week or two off of training. Not totally off but I give my body some time to recoup. So I will put on two or three pounds. Not really a big deal. So while home on vacation I pretty much said I am just gonna relax. I am not gonna hesitate on moms good ole apple pie, baklava, brownies, and pecan pie. Or my sisters cheesecake ( she also makes a mean bowl of mashed potatoes), or my dads grillin two full cows. I decided I am gonna actually have a real vacation and just let the discipline slide. I’m not going to mention the Mead and Beer my family makes.

The hard truth is that American food has caused me to gain 17 lbs in 6 WEEKS!!!!!!!

Now this doesn’t matter to me because already back into training for the last week I have lost 5 lbs. Now that jet lag is over I can actually train unhindered. The fact is the American way of life will KILL you. I can’t see it any other way. Pay attention to what your putting into your body. You can do it!

Mo'Nique at the 2004 BET Awards

Mo'Nique at the 2009 NAACP Image Awards